Life is Good

Thanks to all of you for your words of encouragement. It is so cool to have so many of my friends getting their lives in order and finding there way. It is proof enough to me that there is an undeniable power at work in all of us who are making our way, finding our truths and getting a grasp of what it is all about. People that I would have once classified as the hope to die dope fiends and drunks, myself included.

To see these same people today. Working. Being productive members of a society they once wanted no part of. Being available to friends and family. Just being present in life mostly. Call it God. Call it Inner self. The wording is just that. I am content today not having to know what it is that is radically changing peoples lives and destinies. I am content in the awareness that It is.

I have lived a pretty blessed life. Through all my self imposed misery I have come out pretty unscathed. I have my health. i have my teeth. I have my family and my friends. I have a place of my own to create art and music.

"Life is good!"

Changes

My life is changing so fast these days. As i grow in my serenity i seem to know less and less. I only have more questions. My pastor is always saying that the more questions we have the more healthy we are spiritually. i just get confused.

I feel like i am just beginning to grow up. All the years squandered. All the time wasted and all the people i hurt. i am having a hard time forgiving myself. I am moving on though. Facing my fears and doing what i can to help others.

Today i am off to see some friends i haven't seen in 15 years. they have done so much in that time. gone so many places. Earned money and bought a place of their own.

I am grateful that i have my life today. I have my health. i just lost a good friend to cancer and it kills me not understanding how such a bad thing can happen to such good people.